extraordinary machine.

Fri, 01 Feb 2008 01:59:02 GMT

new livejournal.

carolinesvagina
carolinesvagina
carolinesvagina
carolinesvagina
carolinevagina

add it.

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 09:00:08 GMT

i feel like i'm going to vomit everywhere. all over this couch that isn't mine, and this blanket that isn't mine either. Maybe on this nice clean carpet that isn't in my apartment.

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 07:06:11 GMT

1. What was going through your mind during your last kiss?
hmm. soft lips.

2. How did you do on the last test you took?
i passed it.

3. What is your ringtone for when people text you?
criminal by fiona apple

4. What show did you last watch?
family guy

5. Whose arms do you feel the safest in?
they know

6. What foods make you sick?
tomoato soup

7. Do you get shy around the guy/girl you like?
sometimes

8. Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
yes. and I like to think that I've grown up alot.

9. Do you still have feelings for your ex?
no.

10. Name something you like and hate about your default:
what?

11. Do you have family problems?
not really. they've been resolved.

12. Where are most people in your top from?
where I live.

13. What was the last meal you ate?
water.

14. Who are there pictures of in the room you're currently in?
I don't see any pictures.

15. Name one thing people think about you that's not true?
i'm crazy.

16. Do you give special ringtones to certain people?
yes.

17. What's the weather like outside?
kind of chilly.

18. Have you ever seen a 3D movie in theaters?
yeah

19. How was your last relationship?
I was happy.

20. Where'd you get everything that you're wearing?
i don't know

21. Do you text with T9 or ABC?
abc

22. Have you memorized your social security number?
yeah

23. Have you ever had a dream about people you love dying?
I try not to. and if I do, I won't talk about it.

24. Who was the last person you couldn't keep your mind off of?
they know.

25. What was the last advice you gave someone?
stop being a stupid bitch.

26. What radio station do you listen to the most?
I don't

27. Whats your worst grade this quarter?
uhh no bad grades so far!

28. If you died today, would there be anything you wish you could've said to someone?
yes. I love you and I'm sorry.

29. Are you on youtube?
yes.

30. What do you think about the person that last texted you?
He is amazing.

31. How do you like your school?
I like it alright. I wish my psychology teacher would stop eating infront of the class though. its gross.

32. Why did your last relationship end?
I don't know

33. Are you friends with your last ex?
no

34. Are any of your exes on your top friends?
he isn't really my ex. I dont' think.

35. What's the last food you ate that was stale?
I don't really know

36. Have you ever been in love?
one time.

37. Who will you never forget?
my family, my true best friends, my heart.

38. Have you ever questioned your sexuality?
haha, no. I like men.

39. What are you afraid of?
diapointing the people I love.

40. What do you look for in a relationship?
LOVE
affection
trust

41. Would you ever consider having a relationship with your best friend?
no

42. What piercings do you want to get?
I don't want anymore.

43. Have your friends ever seen you cry?
haha, yes. my name is infact caroline quillon. I'm a cry baby.

44. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
my car... haha

45. Can you do a push-up?
not really. I can try though!

46. Are you self conscious about your weight at all?
uhh. sometimes. but everybody has those days when they wake up and feel fat.

47. Have you ever had a panic attack?
haha. yes.

48. Name the last thing you got really anxious about.
school. boy. work.

49. Would you ever consider moving back to your hometown?
no.

50. Describe your laugh?
annoying as hell.

51. What do you think about the person that last commented you?
I don't remember who commented me last..

52. How did you meet the last person you kissed?
in the publix parking lot. on the hood of my car. :)

Can you do the Crank Dat dance?
what?

Who sings the song you last sang?
fiona apple in the parking lot haha

Have you ever modeled for anything?
when i was little.

Plans for this weekend?
work, maybe. Spending time with somebody really HOT

How was last weekend?
I dont remember.

Have you ever been to California?
nope

How about New York City?
I used to live there

What's your favorite color to wear?
I don't know

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 22:27:49 GMT

slob on my knob.

RIP HEATH!

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 20:56:00 GMT

I stayed with Orie last night. It was nice to be near him. and win in scrabble. Like I always do. on the way home this morning all I could think about was ethnocentrism. ha ha. I guess that means that I am enjoying school. ha. It was nice to be near my Orie last night. He isn't MINE but he might as well be. I'm his. I think. Nobody else makes me pick my nose.

thats how I feel right now. My back hurts from painting that huge canvas with Liz the other night. JEEZ. I think tonight I'm going grocery shopping. We have no food or anything to drink in the apartment. I've eaten one chipotles burrito in the past 3 days. AND I FEEL GREAT!...

I took both of my tests for school yesterday. Think I did ok. Hope I did at least. Maybe tomorrow I'll go to firestone. Maybe not, Depends on how much money we all have.

I need a printer. I need to go to the WH library to print out some work but Brooke has my card. Damnit.

I'm going up there soon to visit her. I want a flying buddy though. I really HATE flying on planes alone. Hmm. As soon as Orgasm gets his new tires on Friday, he can come see me more :) I'm excited. and hoping, and wishing everything turns brilliant again. XXX

hey YOU.

Sun, 20 Jan 2008 14:33:47 GMT

I would never hurt you. You're the only thing I love.

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 17:15:10 GMT

does this make me a total creep?

eh. I don't really care that much if it does. Whats really funny is, that if I've met you... theres a 60% chance I've already drawn/painted you. You just don't know it. Either your face, or your hands. Yep.

I miss brooke.

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 07:57:26 GMT

I spent the majority of my night on youtube with molly, searching the following:

-gang fights
-bitch fights
-moms fighting
-teachers getting hit
-childbirth
-somebody pulling a knife out of themselves. lol
-piercing & tattoos gone wrong

It was really funny.

Tue, 08 Jan 2008 03:58:03 GMT

The other day, I got a comment along the lines of "man Caroline, your boobs look good in that shirt!" from a guy. Who says that? Thats like me saying, "holy shit I love how those jeans make your dick look."

this is what grown up feels like

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 16:05:36 GMT

I woke up feeling a lot stronger. I am proud of myself [us].

So, this is what being responsible looks like.

I've been re-re-re-reading, "The Language of Life", by Bill Moyers. Its a book that celebrates the importance of poetry in our lives. It is a collection of interviews, insight, and poetry from famous poets like Lucille Clifton, Joy Harjo, Micheal S. Harper, and sooo much more.

It is worth the $24.95.

I want to be like the poets I read about. I want to have my life captured and shaped on paper like them. I have words. Lucille Clifton said that a real poet doesn't write all the time, because fishing out words is like pulling teeth, Its painful and messy. Real poets don't chase the butterflies around them, instead the turn their backs and wait for the words to land on their shoulder.

It took Lucille 37 years after her mother died to write the poem "fury". Its a poem about how when she was younger, Lucille watched her father[a man of the 1940 era] force her mother to burn all the poetry she ever wrote in a furnace. She 37 YEARS after her mother was dead, and lucille was a grown woman, she was driving in her car and thought "oh, THATS what fury is." Her mothers hand throwing her poetry into the furance was fury.

and because I'm a faggot, I'm making you read the poem. Its powerful.

Fury
Remember this,
she is standing by
the furnace,
the coals
glisten like rubies.
her hand is crying.
her hand is clutching
a sheaf of papers,
poems.
she gives them up.
the burn
jewels into jewels.
her eyes are animals.
each hank of her hair
is a serpent's obedient
wife.
She will never recover.
remember. there is nothing
you will not bear
for this woman's sake.

hmm. Right on. I don't know how long I have to wait before the words come to me, describing how I've felt. I know it will happen when I'm ready.

my life

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 18:50:40 GMT

I couldn't even begin to explain it these past few weeks. Everything, EVERYTHING has been all out of sorts. I am stressed out. Kind of looking forward to Thursday. I need Thursday, now more than ever. New Years was quite interesting I suppose. I'm glad everybody got home OK. I feel bad I wasn't more fun. Who has a party at their apartment and ends up sick and asleep before 12? me.

I miss my mama. I miss her hugs. Sometimes I wish we lived closer to each other, I'm thankful we talk on the phone everyday at least. Anyway. Tyler got an "entertainment center". I use that term loosely because its kind of ghetto. but it works.

I'm so anxious, and thirsty, and bloated, and tired.

I didn't get a new years kiss. I am happy with that though. I will kiss you.

its fighting season.

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 01:38:24 GMT

I wonder how it would feel to punch somebody directly in the center of their face, breaking their nose and sinus cavities? Molly did that to me once back when she was crazy. She broke my nose. I know how bad it hurt, and how stupid I looked with a purple face. I wonder how it was for her. Its kind of like sex I guess; I can't help but be curious on how it must feel to not be on the recieving end.

oh well.

Its going to be Christmas Tomorrow. I went Shopping last night with Molly for all my presents. My mom didn't know what to get me, so I offered to do it myself. :) God, I finally have clothes! I'm relieved. Now I'll be able to look moderatly attractive again and not like bag lady.

I'm off to go whoop Molly and Tyler's asses in Scrabble. I suppose I'll be back online later. St. Aug. would be way cooler if I had some people up here that I knew and could hang out with. That'd be nice. damnit.

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 21:32:37 GMT

I can't ever make up my mind when I'm put on the spot.
I hate it when somebody sneezes and doesn't cover their mouth.
Whenever I'm in an awkward situation, I tend to hum or roll in my lips and raise my eyebrows. ha ha, its funny to see I suppose.
I give into peer pressure.
I'm impulsive.
During every "first kiss", I ruin it. I get really scared and feel 12 again.
I dye my hair too much & wear too much makeup
But I am an optimist. I always hope for the best and give people second chances.
It really does take alot to see my bitch side.
When I was younger my sisters used to make me say cusswords into a little disney recorder, then they'd go make my parents listen to it and I would get in trouble. bitches.
I always worry toilet paper is stuck to the bottom of my shoes when I leave a public restroom.
I'm a terrible server. I'm forgetful and too sensetive.
I'm also a really bad driver. But I enjoy it. :) haha. Its relaxing and I can think.
On two different occasions I cam too close to joining the airforce. HAHA that would have been a total disaster.
I sympathize for people on TV getting beat up or yelled at.
I like going to aquariums with people who know all about the different sea creatures.
My pen pal must hate me. I haven't written her in 2 months.
I feel more comfortable hanging out with a room full of guys then walking into one filled with girls.
My quirky habits too often are confused with mental instability.
I hate girls who steal my clothes/EXPENSIVE betsy johnson necklaces.
I don't have good table manners.
the sound of snot leaving the sinus cavity and going down a throat makes me vomit. literally.
the end

update

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 17:40:57 GMT

I'm feeling better.
I needed last night. I needed to see him & be near him. I actually ate food today. Maybe its because we talked. I feel better now. Kind of.

I just don't want to feel hurt. No hurt. hmm.

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 21:57:27 GMT

I can't eat. At least by the end of all this shit I'll be skinny. My mom is coming down tomorrow to be with me. I need her right now so bad.

Every time I go to sleep I keep dreaming about you and it hurts to wake up. I wish I knew where things went wrong. I want to go back and fix it but its too late. Getting drunk doesn't help. Neither does laying in bed all day because I keep looking next to my bed where your picture used to hang. Nobody drew over your face. The music I have in my car reminds me of you.

I'll be ok. I just need a while. because I can't let myself feel this way. its too close to 3 years ago and 3 years ago i couldn't take it.

I wonder why God is doing this to me.

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 13:53:59 GMT

baby lets pretend its November again. Maybe, October... July? July was so good.

i'm that bored

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 04:24:41 GMT

the many different hair colors/lengths/styles...

lol excuse brooke in this one..

thats from when I took my broken heart out on my hair and cut it all off.

my head looks like a mountain top lol

then i bought extentions and this is when I started to wear too much makeup.

I was putting the vibe out there haha

thats from when I turned into a zombie. it was a weird night.

the end.

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 03:39:50 GMT

what a busy week.

Liz's birthday thing was alot of fun. We went to the hard rock casino and stayed the night there with her mom and Brooke. Its funny how middle aged [and probably married] buisness men think that if they buy you a drink, you will follow them up to the hotel room. what faggots. Before we checked out I packed my bag with all the things I could haha. Stole some pretty nice things. Oh and Brooke thought it would be funny to set level 5's temp of the hotel to this:

I spent last night with Orie. It was a good visit, I'm glad I went. I'm glad I have him. Hes a dreamboat. Watched a really good movie. snuggled. Then fell asleep around 3 while he stayed up to watch an old season's episode of the OC where Adam Brody sails away.... lol

I'm not as excited for Christmas as I usually am. Its different when you're away from home this time of year. I miss my family tonight. Especially my niece... and my pup pup kiwi. aw. she fell down the steps in St. Aug. and apparently looked like a hot dog rolling down.

I've been wearing my extentions a lot lately. Figured I'd put some use the all that money I spent on buying them. I'm trying to grow my hair out, but its SO hard to do. I'm used to it being off my shoulders. oh well. I'm doing it. I miss my hair. I miss it being this long without having to wear some European's hair:

HAHAHA. what a gay face. oh well.

I don't really have anything interesting to write. I worked tonight.. It was really busy. and thats a good thing. I made some good money, at the expense of being treated like a dog by 3 of my tables. Bastards. Next time I'm going to throw something hot in their direction and pretend like its an accident.

Tue, 11 Dec 2007 01:57:34 GMT

i haven't felt this way in a long time.

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 03:00:38 GMT

1. What was going through your mind during your last kiss?
don't go.

2. How did you do on the last test you took?
it wasn't really one of those tests that you get graded on

3. What is your ring tone for when people text you?
It just beeps.

4. What show did you last watch?
Uhh

6. What foods make you sick?
chinese food with MSG

7. Do you get shy around the guy/girl you like?
Sometimes.

8. Do you remember what you were doing a year ago?
this time a year ago? I was on a plane promising myself I wasn't going to ever go back to MD for the reason I'd just went

9. Do you still have feelings for your ex?
no. not in the way where I'd ever date him again. I care for him as a person, but I care for anybody who I've had a past with. no matter how stupid they were.

10. Name one thing you like and one thing you hate about your default?
I don't even remember what it is..

11. Do you have family problems?
nah not really.

12. Where are most people in your top from?
It's an equal ratio I think.

13. What was the last meal you ate?
FAT BOYS! lol

14. Who are there pictures of in the room you're currently in?
uhh one with me and brooke in ceramics class

15. What is one thing people think about you that is not true?
I'm crazy.

16. Do you give special ring tones to certain people?
yeah. so i know whether I want to pick up or not.

17. What's the weather like outside?
ok I guess

18. Have you ever seen a 3D movie in theaters?
No. Ouch, headache.

19. How was your last relationship?
before orie? completly fake. There was no genuine love for me anywhere in him.

20. Where'd you get everything that you're wearing?
right now? liz's homecoming I suppose haha

21. Do you text with T9-Word or ABC?
abc

22. Have you memorized your social security number?
Yeah.

23. Have you ever had a dream about people you love dying, about who and when?
No.

25. What was the last advice you gave someone?
You're too big for this town.

26. What radio station do you listen to the most?
I don't.

27. What was your worst grade last year?
f

28. If you died today, would there be anything you wish you could've said?
I'm sorry.

29. Are you on YouTube?
I have videos on there.

30. What do you think about the person that last texted you?
I love him.

31. How do you like your school?
eh.

34. Are any of your exes on your top friends?
no

35. What's the last food you ate that was stale?
No.

36. Do you like to start rumors?
no.

37. Who will you never forget?
my family.

38. Do you ever question your sexuality?
no

39. What are you afraid of?
being alone.

40. What do you look for in a relationship?
-honestly
-sincerity
-a genuine love
-trust
-Somebody who is willing to make sacrifices.

41. Would you ever consider having a relationship with your best friend?
no. unless I was a dyke, or i was into dating cousins.

42. What piercings do you want to get?
no more. I'm too old for that junk.

43. Have your friends ever seen you cry?
probably.

44. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
uhh... Billy actually haha

45. Can you do a push-up?
One.

46. Are you self conscious about your weight at all?
sometimes. but then I remember that I don't care and as long as i'm happy.

47. Have you ever had a panic attack?
Yeah

48. Last time you were anxious?
every day.

49. Would you ever consider moving back to your hometown?
no.

50. Describe your laugh?
uhhh gah gah gah gah gah gah

51. What do you think about the person that last commented you?
i don't remember who the last person was

52. How did you meet the last person you kissed?
well... I met him at a Maylene show but I was with somebody and he was dating somebody too. I like to say we offically met in the publix parking lot the night before he went to PA. :)

53. Are you currently going out with that person?
yes

54. Can you do the Crank Dat dance?
No.

55. Who sings the song you last sang?
postal service haha

57. Plans for this weekend?
work, church, bradenton

58. How was last weekend?
Good.

59. Have you ever been to California?
nope

60. How about New York?
I lived there.

61. Who was your date for homecoming?
haha Jonathan.

Sat, 01 Dec 2007 22:21:41 GMT

i've become a little bit bitter now. its not my fault this time.

uh gaw dayum. whaddafuxup single wide

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 21:31:32 GMT

I know you're jealous of me. [or anybody not in a mobile home, for that matter.] but GAWD DAYUM shaddup already!!!!! shuttup or imma tell urrybody about cha CONE TITTIES.

right on.

the camp out was fun. It was nice seeing Tanner. I didn't get much sleep but thats ok. I'm excited to go see my boo this weekend. I'm off to go sleep. work was especially gay today. oh well. I managed to get my adopted x-mas family cruise tickets to the BAHAMAS! maybe they'll take me and Liz. haha maybe not.

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 09:36:32 GMT

4 months today.

I'm really happy. really. And it doesn't matter at all what jealous people have to say because we're happy and thats all that matters. I love you. I can't wait to see you Friday. I'm glad you found a good roommate that won't screw you over.I don't know of anybody else that would stay up with me until 2am, playing scrabble and watching a weird show on dildos. lol You're my heart and I'm lucky we have eachother.

In the meantime, I'm not spending my money on anything because I'm broke and need to start saving up.

naked scrabble. naked scrabble. naked scrabble.

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 01:14:04 GMT

So, I solved a rubix cube today. Only took me all night. Speaking of, last night really had the potential to suck, but Liz made it better. I'm glad. It would have been perfect if my boyfrannn was there too. But I'll be seeing him Saturday. Can't wait. :)

I WANT A KISS. I WANT A HUG. I WANT MONEY!
work this morning was a blur. I've never been SO TIRED in my life. Honestly. I came home, locked my bedroom door, got in my underpants and fell asleep watching Brick. [Ill give it back.] I actually woke up at 6, Tomorrow should be nice. I'm off work. I think me, Tanner, and Liz are kicking it. I'm lonely tonight. I have my scrabble game out on the floor; the letters and spread out around my dvds infront of the TV. I want somebody to play with.

But I look like shit and am going to stay in my room alone until I get tired again.

hey, its orie

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 07:20:11 GMT

caroline is hot.

like mega hot.

and amazing.

we date.

its nice.